I imagined myself writing this post for months, and I wondered if I’d be able to write the kind of story I hoped I could. It is with thanks, I believe, to luck, an epic birth support team and a LOT of time spent on birth education and preparation that I can. This is the story of how we met our sweet baby Harris. It’s not the story I hoped to write when I set out on this journey; like most journeys I hit a few bumps in the road, but it is a positive birth story all the same…

The build up to Harris’s birth was pretty long-winded and I think I knew instinctively that it was coming because every evening, in the days leading up to it, I started experiencing tightenings that were stronger than Braxton Hicks but not quite strong enough to make me think I was in early labour. This went on for about four days, and I retreated deeply into myself - staying off my computer and phone, and pretty much stopping communicating with anyone aside from my husband. I was sleeping in as much as I could and eating loads and, looking back, I can see that I was subconsciously nursing an understanding that my baby was on his way to meet me.

It was around 4pm on the 16th July - one day after my due date, that I went to the toilet and felt a gush of liquid escape me before I had a chance to pee. I knew it wasn’t pee, but I was in a state of disbelief that my waters may have actually broken. I called my husband, told him to come home, then called the antenatal clinic to tell them what had happened. They asked me to come in so they could check it was, in fact, amniotic fluid and I wasn’t just imagining things. They didn’t need to check anything - as I sat in the assessment room waiting for the midwife the water started gushing out of me!! I couldn’t believe how much of it there was! Not only did every gigantic pad they gave me soak through in minutes, but so did the the bed and my clothes, and the tightenings I had been experiencing in the days previously were getting stronger. It was clear I was in early labour.

EARLY LABOUR

I had struggled with high blood pressure throughout my pregnancy, and was monitored closely for preeclampsia (which I luckily didn’t develop!), and my blood pressure had skyrocketed once again since I had arrived at the antenatal clinic. Because of this, the midwife recommended that I stay in a ward so I could be monitored, instead of returning home to labour in my own space like I wanted to. I agreed and checked into a private room, where each surge went from strength to strength. I wasn’t in the room long at all before I was vocalising my way through them and, knowing that first-time mothers often experience a longer early labour, I was mentally preparing myself for a potentially very long night ahead. But I needn’t have bothered - things were escalating quickly. I soon requested to move to a birth pool, but this was strongly ill advised - the midwife wanted to monitor the baby throughout my labour because of my high BP.

In truth, I was gutted to hear this, and I got pretty emotional about not being able to have the calm, candlelit water birth experience I had wanted for so long. But I also knew that birth plans, are not “plans” - they are preferences; I had to be flexible and I wanted, above all of this, to stay calm and grounded throughout the birth, no matter what happened. So I gathered my thoughts, got up off that bed and set my mind on having an upright, active labour instead. I mostly laboured standing up and leaning forward in a supported downward facing dog position (see below), in child’s pose or on all fours to encourage the process along. Boy did it work! The midwife checked me at 10PM - just 5 hours after I had arrived with mild tightenings, and I was at 5cm. I was moved to a delivery suite soon after.

ACTIVE LABOUR

I can’t really remember what happened in the hours that followed; only that I was told I was in active labour and I thought, “it’s go time.” And suddenly it was! Everything became very very intense! I asked for gas and air, and the relief was immediate - once I felt that relief I realised just how powerful my labour had become. The surges were rolling in thick and fast; I was already exhausted and labouring on my side in bed when I felt the bed being moved to the delivery suite. I asked for more pain relief at that stage and was given a shot of pethidine. This may or may not have helped, I honestly can’t say. I was overcome by some sort of animal instinct, and whilst I knew what was happening around me, and was able to answer questions and make requests, I wasn’t completely there. It’s tough to explain. I just felt like a vessel for something so much more powerful than me, and all I had to do was breath through it. I kept telling myself that my experience could not overwhelm me - that my surges could not be stronger than me because they were me.

THE BIRTH

The hours between 10 and 4-something-AM are a blur. I remember squeezing Ali’s arm like it was a lifeline through each surge, I remember the sound of his voice telling me to breath, reminding me of my strength and I remember the moments of quiet between each surge. The next thing I knew I was on my back (not the position I wanted to be in to birth my baby!!!! But I was exhausted at this stage) and the midwife was telling me that the baby was coming but my cervix wasn’t dilating fully. She began manually opening my cervix and the next thing I knew she was shouting at me telling me to bear down and that my little boy was on his way. But the monitors on my belly kept slipping off, and so they kept loosing track of his heartbeat. As a precaution they asked if they could do an episiotomy and help him out with a ventouse. I agreed - at this stage I couldn’t feel anything except the strength of my surges, I had come so far and was so close to the finish line. I just so desperately wanted to meet my baby!

He arrived at 5.40AM on the 17th of July and was put in my arms screaming his lungs out (something he loves to do to this day) and I looked down at his face and thought, '“my god, I have made the most beautiful baby and birthed him. I did it.” I was shattered, but I have never felt more powerful in my life.

**may or may not have been crying as I wrote this**

LOOKING BACK

Although I didn’t get the birth I wanted I’m so relieved that I can look back on the experience and feel good about it. I had put so much time into researching all the things that could redirect the course of my birth choices, what they meant and how they could impact my experience and recovery. I made decisions that felt right for me in the moment, and when my confidence wavered my husband spoke for me and reminded me that I am stronger than I think I am.

HOW TO LAY THE FOUNDATIONS FOR YOUR OWN POSITIVE BIRTH STORY

Birth is a powerful, life-changing event, and you can throw your hands in the air and just accept or deal with whatever comes your way, OR you can take up the reigns and do everything you can to stack the odds in your favour for the birth experience you want. You may not get it, but along the way you’ll discover the strength and knowledge you need to handle any curveballs that get thrown your way too.

If this sounds like something you want, and I’m guessing it is if you’ve read this far, then here are 3 ways you can prepare yourself for birth and lay the foundations for your own positive birth story…

• Stay as active as you can during pregnancy. A strong body during pregnancy makes for a strong birthing body and an easier recovery postnatally. I was walking almost every day, working out once a week (but I wish I had done more!) and doing yoga 3/4 times a week.

• Practice prenatal yoga. Prenatal yoga did SO much for helping my hips open and strengthen; which is exactly what you want from them if you’re planning a natural birth. It also helps you build a stronger connection with your core and pelvic floor - a healthy core unit will facilitate a more comfortable pregnancy, easier natural birth and better post natal healing. Yoga also teaches you how to use your breath for relaxation, strength and endurance. I may be biased (okay, I am!), but I really do believe prenatal yoga is an essential part of a healthy pregnancy, birth and healing.

• Get educated. Take time to understand the pregnancy, labour, birth and recovery process. Knowledge really is power; I firmly believe that understanding your options, and learning to make informed choices will transform your experience! If you aren’t sure where to start, I recommend signing up to the Hypnobirthing Course from The Positive Birth Company - read my review here.

YOGA FOR BIRTH

Here are a few yoga poses you can take into labour with you, to help encourage your baby to wiggle into the best position for birth and to help you better cope with the strength of your surges. Remember that an active labour is a faster, more efficient labour but it’s also so important to take rest when you need it. Listen to your body, work with it and lean in to the experience.

Last, but by no means least, remember that you are powerful and can (and will!) face anything that comes your way with strength, grace and ease. You’ve got this!!